Mumbai: The mountains of Kashmir were delightfully appealing yet dreadfully drenched when Nikhat Zareen landed on their foothills. It, however, couldn’t deter the boxer from going ahead with what she’d set out to do, and what her local guide — who didn’t know what this tourist did for a living until Nikhat told him before leaving — thought was beyond her: embark upon one of the more challenging treks of Gulmarg.

Minutes after her Paris Olympics exit, Nikhat was still teary-eyed when she expressed her longing to go on an experimental solo trip for her post-Games reboot. Even though not technically — she was accompanied by her sister — the Kashmir adventure was for all practical purposes a solo trip. “I was mostly spending time by myself,” Nikhat said.

And so, after her first day’s trek plans got dampened, Nikhat was adamant in not letting weather come in the way the next day too. “It was risky. But I told the guide, ‘chahe kuch bhi ho jaye, I want to complete this trek’,” she said.

She did, even though it poured. “It was so peaceful on top,” Nikhat said. “And once I came back down, mann ko shanti mili (my mind was calm).”

Months ago, that mind was all over the place when, on another expedition to touch the peak of winning an Olympic medal, Nikhat faltered. Among India’s top medal hopes, the two-time world champion was sent packing from the pre-quarters in her first Olympics by eventual gold medallist Wu Yu. The Gulmarg trek, and Nikhat’s stubbornness in finishing it, was to clear the clutter of that Paris tumble.

“I found it weird to front up to my own people. My parents had huge expectations, and I wanted to do it for them more than anybody else. Which I couldn’t. It was heartbreaking. I was broken,” Nikhat told HT from her home in Hyderabad.

Nikhat completely isolated herself after returning from Paris. “I was not in contact with anyone; not even with my boxing teammates,” she said. She found solace in the same people she believed she had let down — her family. It now had an addition, a golden retriever Nikhat named Bella. “People call me Nikki, and she is Bella,” Nikhat said, smiling. “I spent days just playing with her.”

It’s not a situation India’s star boxer is used to. There was a phase leading up to the Olympics, from 2022 until late 2023 as a bronze medallist at the Asian Games, where Nikhat only knew the feel of victories and the touch of gold. The post-Paris hollow that followed the pre-Paris hype was eerily unusual for an athlete so used to winning.

“It was tough. In the past too I have come back empty-handed from a few competitions, like the 2020 Strandja tournament and Youth Olympic Qualifiers in 2014. But that was different. Back then, people didn’t know who Nikhat Zareen was. Now, being a two-time world champion and coming back empty-handed was hard to digest. And to tell myself, ‘Nikhat, tu iss baar medal nahi jeeti hai (you haven’t won a medal this time)’. To keep reminding myself about it was the toughest part. More than anyone else, I had the most expectations of winning a medal. But, at some point, you have to accept the reality.”

She still fleetingly confronts that reality. Of that difficult draw that kept her unseeded and pit her against the top seed in the second round; of that Chinese opponent she’d never faced and the 11am bout that took her off guard in terms of recovery.

“Mere kismat mein hi nahi tha, I guess,” Nikhat says.

‘Dmitry as coach didn’t suit me much’

The 28-year-old has gradually moved on, with a newfound outlook towards boxing that she now seeks to balance better with other life responsibilities. Nikhat has started strength training at Pullela Gopichand’s academy in Hyderabad. She can’t see a “clear picture” for the future due to boxing’s uncertainty around the 2028 LA Games, yet the Indian is on the hunt for a personal coach to improve as a boxer. She does sense some conflict down that path.

“I want to train under a foreign coach. But BFI (boxing federation) is also looking for a foreign coach. So, if I train for some time with my coach and then go into the national camp, it could disturb everything.”

Indian boxing was riddled in coaching disorder, with the departure of high-performance director Bernard Dunne months before the Games. Foreign coach Dmitry Dmitruk took charge through a medal-less campaign in Paris. Nikhat felt adjusting to different styles of new coaches is time-consuming and challenging, and that the coaching distraction was detrimental to her personally and Indian boxing overall.

“Before Paris, our HPD quit. It disturbed our entire team. Until Bernard was there, he was handling everything. With Dmitry, he had language issues, and couldn’t speak English that well. Though he is a dedicated coach, he was trying to change everything, which, personally, didn’t suit me too much. But at that last stage, I thought it is better to focus on my preparations rather than complain,” she says. “Paris was disappointing for Indian boxing overall. But it was a lesson learnt.”

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