Mumbai: Esha Singh doesn’t quite know how she’s feeling with days to go for the Paris Olympics. The pistol shooter sure is excited about becoming a first-time Olympian at 19, but whether there’s a tinge of nerves to go with it, “I still don’t know”, she said.

It is somewhat like the mental state she was in heading into last year’s Asian Games, the teen’s first taste of a multi-sport event feast. The moment she checked into the Athletes’ Village in Hangzhou though was when the magnitude and relevance of the occasion truly hit her. She felt a bit intimidated, finding it “hard to keep my head in the game” ahead of her events.

She would check out of Hangzhou with four medals around her neck. Esha earned her spot on the podium in each event she turned up for – silver in the individual 25m pistol and 10m air pistol, gold in the 25m pistol team and silver in 10m air pistol team.

Her performance in the final of 25m pistol — the event she will compete in at the Paris Olympics after swapping her 10m air pistol quota with Rhythm Sangwan — was particularly noteworthy. Esha finished with a total of 34 points, four behind China’s Liu Rui, who rewrote Rahi Sarnobat’s Asian Games record while Esha matched it.

“The Asian Games for me was probably the biggest platform that I’ve played at. It’s the highest scoring performance I’ve ever given in my career, and one of my best finals. To be honest, that was the loudest audience I’ve witnessed. Being there was quite an intimidating experience overall. But I overcame all those emotions. I surprised myself with that match,” Esha said.

“So, for me that was a huge boost — to know my capabilities and to know how mentally strong I am. That final really proved to me that if I can perform here, anything else would be way easier.”

Not that it would be the case at the Olympics, yet Esha now has a template, and positive memories and takeaways, to fall back on. She’d approached the Asian Games thinking it wasn’t a big deal, and that not winning a medal would really be okay given her age and experience of such high-stakes events.

“If I can replicate the same mindset (at the Olympics), it’ll be great,” she said.

“I don’t change my training based on the type of events. Shooting is a game of basics, and if you complicate it, it’s never going to help you. It certainly hasn’t helped me. I like to keep things the same. So, I can say I’ve been training for this (the Olympics) for 10 years now.”

She’s just 19 but Esha has already had quite a lengthy and eventful career. The Hyderabad kid became the senior national champion in 2018 when, at age 13, she bettered more seasoned 10m air pistol shooters in Heena Sidhu and Manu Bhaker. Looking back to those days in her early teens, Esha believes the sport has changed her personality.

“In a good way,” she said. “I’m more of a calm, composed person now, and I’m learning to embrace my failures and understand why they ever happened — even in the past. Now that I look back, I can connect many dots. They happened for certain reasons, and they were meant to happen because if they hadn’t, I wouldn’t know how to correct it for the next important moment.”

Between the 2018 nationals burst and the 2023 Asian Games boom, Esha has seen quite a few quiet days as well. The competitions and phases of lull did leave her connecting the dots while also growing mature to fight through it. Yet, it isn’t the lows that Esha has found challenging to deal with. It’s the highs.

“Because they keep adding to your reputation. After you win something major, it also comes down to your prestige, right? For example, if you win a World Cup medal and then go and play a domestic event, you have, sort of, a baggage to carry. It’s difficult to manage, honestly,” she said. “But I look at all this as experiences being added to my bucket.”

There’s another one coming up for the youngster.

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