Sometimes, seeking external help to calm your internal chaos can be the best decision you make in your life. Body positivity and mental health advocate Anshula Kapoor vouches for it. As someone who was once cocooned by "self-limiting beliefs", experienced the emotional upheaval of grief and loss early in her life, and struggled with self-acceptance, she has come a long way. Now living her "2.0 version" in her 30s, Anshula is out to break the stigma around mental health and remind people that seeking therapy is not a sign of weakness. In this Health Shots interview ahead of World Mental Health Day 2024, Anshula Kapoor talks about breaking free from her own mental traps, the transformative role of therapy in her life, and her favourite habits to keep her mind cool.

1. What have been some of the self-limiting beliefs in your life and how did you break free from them?

Anshula Kapoor: Two of the most poignant self-limiting beliefs I’ve held for most of my life have been: first, I didn’t believe that self-worth was inherent. I always thought it was something provided from the outside. It took me a long time to understand how harmful that belief was. The second belief emerged after my mom passed away. I always felt like a burden to my friends whenever I grieved or to my brother, who essentially became a parent after mom was gone. I thought I was holding him back because he had to take care of me.

Both of these beliefs—whether about my self-worth or the feeling of being a burden—were things I worked on and gradually let go of, with the help of therapy. During the lockdown (in 2020), I had open, heartfelt conversations with my brother and best friends, where I shared everything I’d been feeling. They offered me their perspective, reassuring me that it wasn’t a burden for them to listen when I talked about missing my mom, and that my brother didn’t feel burdened either. He takes care of me because he wants to and because he loves me.

Anshula Kapoor shares a special bond with her brother, actor Arjun Kapoor. Image courtesy: Instagram | Anshula Kapoor

2. Did therapy become a game-changer for you? What would you say to people who are silently living with grief to seek help and live a better life?

Anshula Kapoor: Yes, therapy has undoubtedly been a game-changer for me. It provided me with the tools to navigate some of the most challenging periods of my life - from dealing with grief after losing my mother to overcoming self-limiting beliefs and managing the mental health implications of PCOS. Therapy helped me recognize my worth, process my emotions, and build a healthier relationship with myself and others. It gave me the confidence to embrace my vulnerabilities and transform them into strength.

To anyone silently living with grief, I would say that seeking help doesn’t make you weak—it’s an act of courage. Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to carry it alone. Therapy can offer a safe space to unpack those heavy feelings, gain perspective, and start healing. It’s not about “getting over” the loss, but learning how to live with it in a way that honours your emotions and allows you to find peace. Reaching out for help is the first step toward a better, more fulfilling life.

3. Tell us about things that you shied away from doing in your 20s that you boldly did in your 30s!

Anshula Kapoor: I spent most of my 20s not liking who I was and not knowing who I was. I didn’t like how I looked on the outside, but I also didn’t know who I was on the inside. I spent the majority of my 20s in that flux. I absolutely disliked socializing and going out, even if it meant meeting friends. I actively avoided stepping out and making social connections. For me, my 20s were all about studying and completing my coursework while I was in college, around the age of 20-21. After securing my first job, my life became a routine of home and office—coming back home after work, having dinner, maybe watching or reading something, and then going to sleep, only to repeat the cycle.

I don’t think I truly lived my life in my 20s. I didn’t indulge in hobbies or give myself enough time to figure out whether I had any. I also spent much of my 20s trying to navigate the overwhelming grief of losing my mom, and later, my grandmother (naani). While the grief from losing my grandmother was different from that of my mom, it was still almost equally overwhelming. My 20s were about figuring out myself, dealing with grief, learning how to live without my mom, starting to know myself, and learning to love myself.

My 30s have essentially been a 2.0 version of me, someone who’s more attuned to herself. Therapy has played a significant role in this transformation. It has helped me become bolder and make choices in my life that go beyond work—choices that make me happy, and things I want to do simply because they are fun. I’ve become more adventurous in my 30s, travelling more, and I’ve stepped into my first proper relationship during this decade. What a traditional 20s might have been for someone else, my 30s are turning out to be for me—and I’m loving it. I’m discovering so many new facets of who I am, and what I like and dislike about myself. It’s been absolutely wonderful to be on this journey.

Anshula Kapoor says she is in a better place mentally and physically. Image courtesy: Instagram | Anshula Kapoor

4. You have undergone a lot of transformation over the past few years. ⁠How has your idea of fitness and health evolved overtime?

Anshula Kapoor: The idea of fitness has definitely evolved for me. Initially, for a considerable amount of time, fitness meant having a physique with abs and focusing more on external appearances. Now, I view fitness through a different lens. To me, being fit now means being healthy from within. For example, ensuring that all my body and blood tests fall within normal parameters. Additionally, being able to climb three flights of stairs and play a sport defines fitness for me now. Similarly, spending quality time with my loved ones and having a strong immune system that prevents me from constantly falling sick is part of my current idea of fitness.

5. Are there any habits that you follow to keep your mental health under check?

Anshula Kapoor: Regardless of being a celebrity or not, I believe there are certain habits we all need to develop to take care of our mental health. One of the most important habits for me is therapy. Having a therapy session, even if it’s a short follow-up or just checking in with my therapist, is one of the habits I follow to take care of my mental health. Beyond that, I make it a point to talk to people close to me, like my brother, my friends, and my partner, ensuring that I have open conversations and express my emotions instead of brushing them under the rug.

Exercising, blasting music in my room and dancing to a song, playing a sport, going to the gym, or taking a walk are some of the things that help keep my mental health in check. Reading a book can also help me get out of a funk, especially when I’m in a state of mind I can’t fully verbalize but also don’t want to dwell on!

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