Motherhood is a journey, which is woven with the threads of hope, resilience and love. But for some women, this joyous experience often takes an unexpected turn, bringing a sudden stillness. This is what popular Indian actress and poet Priya Malik also went through when she suffered a silent miscarriage. But it was her faith and belief in the divine order that brought her and Karan Bakshi’s son, Zorawar in their life, months after the heart-wrenching experience. Priya Malik has opened up about her experiences in an interview to Health Shots, and calls motherhood a "crazy good ride"!

Priya Malik is a storyteller, poet, theatre artiste and a social activist. She has also featured in television shows such as Bigg Boss and Nazar. Through her deeply touching poetic verses, she talks about love, life and bias in a sensitive way. At 37 years of age, she has had life-changing experiences that have shaped her belief system over the years. From getting married at the age of 21 and getting divorced to finding love again, remarrying, facing a miscarriage, becoming pregnant once more and having a rainbow baby - Priya has had a tumultous life that has given her lessons to remember and experiences to share.

Priya Malik reflects on her silent miscarriage

In one of her poetic pieces, she shared poignant thoughts on 'pregnancy after a loss'. It stemmed from her personal experience of a silent miscarriage following an unplanned pregnancy. A silent miscarriage, also known as a missed miscarriage or missed abortion is a situation, where a foetus stops developing, and requires to be expelled from the body. It can be an emotionally shaking experience for a woman.

Priya Malik says her first pregnancy came when she least expected it, but it was short-lived. “My miscarriage led to a lot of anxiety during my second pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant again so quickly after the miscarriage, my first reaction was, 'Oh my God, will I be able to carry this to full term?' I felt that my body hadn’t had enough time to heal or my uterus hadn’t had enough time to shrink back. So, my first reaction was actually fear,” Priya tells Health Shots about the mental trauma she faced.

The love and support of her near and dear ones helped her sail through and believe that, "Maybe this baby came quickly because this baby wanted me to become a mother as soon as possible." "Isn’t that what I had wished for? And now that my wish is being granted, why am I worried?” she thought to herself.

Priya Malik was guarded about her second pregnancy

The common saying, “Once bitten, twice shy”, suited Priya Malik's situation as she was guarded and protective about her second pregnancy. She recounts how she didn’t even tell her parents about it for about six months and it was only after she hit 8 months of pregnancy that she finally announced it. However, deep within, she kept her calm. Priya shares, “Throughout the pregnancy, I kept my calm. I was working, travelling, and I tried to be positive. People say women go through a lot of hormonal changes during pregnancy. With me, it was the opposite. I think this was the calmest I have ever felt in my life!"

Priya Malik shares how her faith in divine timing helped her create positive affirmation sof rsecond pregnancy. Image courtesy: Priya Malik/Instagram.

Priya on women having insecurities after miscarriage

A lot of women lose hope and stop trying after miscarriage, fearing that it may either hamper their health or affect the next pregnancy. Fears and insecurities become natural. But Priya believes that having faith in divine timing is above everything. “Khalil Gibran, a famous Lebanese poet says, 'Your children are not from you. They are through you.' And I’ve always believed that. I hope that women out there who have gone through these experiences in the past have the faith that if they are meant to be a passage, they are meant to be a vessel for a life to come into this world, they will be. We have no control over it,” she shares.

“After my miscarriage, my husband Karan and I had decided we would start trying for a baby again in 2024. But, God had different plans. I think more belief and more faith in divine timing and divine order is extremely important. Even my Instagram bio says, 'Sabra Shukra Tawakkul'. Sabra is patience, Shukra is gratitude, and Tawakkul is divine timing. It’s all about the destiny that God has written for you,” says Priya on a spiritual note.

Priya Malik on the stigma associated with miscarriage

Miscarriage is often shrouded in stigma and silence, which may stop women from seeking support and sharing their experiences. This may take a toll on their mental health. However, Priya believes the more women come out and talk about their experiences, it will empower others to face such challenges with more confidence.

“Miscarriages are so common. One in seven women go through it. There are also ectopic pregnancies, chemical pregnancies, IVF treatments, failed IVF, and so many things. But we have so much shame attached to these things that we don’t talk about it. I feel the more we talk about it, the more normal people will feel when it happens to them,” says Priya.

Personally, she felt the need to talk about her experience to bring about a change in the society. “When it happened to me, I did not know how to react to it because nobody had ever spoken to me about going through a miscarriage. But the moment I came out with my story, so many people in my family and friends shared their story too. I think talking about it really helps. It really helped me and the reaction that I got from so many women who have undergone similar and even more traumatic stories... it felt like a kinship. It felt like we are all in this together, and we are all fighting the same battles every day. It really makes you more empathetic, and it makes you look at the world differently,” she says.

Challenges as a new mother: Priya on balancing personal and professional life

“Motherhood is messy but magical, exhausting but exquisite, demanding but dazzling and often at the same time. But yes, once you see your baby, everything dissipates and they are all that matter in that moment. It is a very tight rope. It is definitely a balance that you need to create. But for that, you definitely also need to have a very supportive family and a good team to help you raise your baby. I have a lot of help at home. My husband and I believe in equal parenting. I am also a newborn mother, so I am learning how to strike a balance and how to make this more efficient for myself and the baby,” shares Priya.

As much as she wants to be with her son Zorawar, she never wants to give that feeling the tag of “mom guilt”. That's because, for her, work is equally important. She shares that her role as a mother has more prominence in her life, but at the same time, she wants her son to grow up seeing her as a successful artist. This is also a reason why she wanted to become a mother when she felt she could manage her career and personal life simultaneously.

Priya Malik shares how she is creating a balance between her personal and professional life. Image courtesy: Priya Malik/Instagram.

Priya on her love for poetry

Priya is loved for her poetry today. But growing up, she had only conventional career options on her platter. Despite her love for public speaking, she never thought of making a career out of it, until the age of 28, when she felt that even a well-settled life and job in Australia was not making her happy and content with life. That is when she went back on the stage, participated in an Australian poetry slam and won it.

“Even at that time, I did not have enough faith in myself to take it up as a profession. It was only at the age of 30 that I actually started realising that this can be my career. Oprah Winfrey says, “Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.” So for 30 years, I did what I had to do and only after that, I started doing what I really wanted to do. I believe God could see that I was finally buying the ticket, so He let me win the lottery! Even if I did it later in life, I kept doing it consistently and my videos started getting viral, and everything paid off,” says Priya.

Love and relationships are her favourite subjects of poetry, but she also enjoys writing and talking about social issues like discrimination and feminism. Her poetry touches the heart because it takes a leaf out of reality each time. Priya says, “The biggest reward you can give to your art is your honesty. Once you start doing that, everything else starts falling into place. I feel that the reason I made it as a poet is because I never did it for fame. I have done other things for fame like Bigg Boss. But when it comes to poetry, I only did it because I loved doing it.”

Priya on the perils of being in the public eye

Being popular has its drawbacks. It comes at the stake of privacy. But as Priya says, “You can't be everyone's cup of tea!  Fame comes with it at its own cost. It will give you the good stuff and the bad stuff. It will sometimes make your life harder."

Priya shares what women empowerment means

“To me, women empowerment is about the ability to make your own choices in life without getting judged for them. Also, it is more important for women to feel empowered internally rather than externally. The power to wear what you want and do what you want is also important, but internal empowerment is most important. I wish all women develop internal belief, strength and love for their own selves before anything else," Priya concludes.

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