The ‘what are we?’ question is one of the most dreaded in relationships, both to yourself and to the person you are dating. So you tiptoe around the question, keeping it laid back and casual. In the world of casual dating, labels are tossed aside, with the spotlight on exploring the connection first. But the problem is, sometimes this stage can stretch on for months, stuck in a vague, non-exclusive ‘talking’ phase.

Dating coach Carleigh Ferrante took to Instagram to share 8 signs when you realise the relationship is out of the talking stage.

8 signs when you can define your relationship

Carleigh shared these points:

• Your communication has become regular, and you are not overthinking outreach or what to say (AKA you are no longer sending screenshots to your friends.)
• You are both talking openly about the future, and your visions are aligned. bonus when you have at least one plan made in advance for weeks/months from now.
• You are spending time together regularly (plans are assumed, dates are still thought out, and there's a mix of activities, date night vibes, group hangs, casual unplanned hangouts, etc.)
• You've told your friends and/or family about each other. Bonus: You have started to meet the people they spend the most time with- and vice versa.
• They're the person you want to talk to when something big happens, and you value their advice and opinion (and they are regularly updating you on things in their life as well.)
• You already feel (or are) monogamous (you don't have interest in going out with other people, and you're not wondering what else could be out there.)
• You feel like yourself around them (Things feel natural; you don't feel drained after being with them, and you are not constantly trying to make yourself the person you think they want.)
• You have had at least one conflict or disagreement (and you feel good about how it was handled.)

Takeways

You will notice subtle yet powerful patterns, and that's when you realise your relationship is ready for the next step. Easy communication becomes one of the key starts, where the conversation genuinely makes you engaged and not enraged (and send loads of texts to BFFs to rant). There’s comfort as the relationship moves away from performance. Similarly, you will realise you are more involved in each other's lives, meeting family and friends, showcasing the gradual transition from initial surface-level connection to a deeper bond. And lastly, there may be a mutual disinterest in looking for options elsewhere, showing that you have chosen each other quietly. All these signals indicate that you are ready.

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