Green flag 101: How to know if someone's a green flag and good for your mental health
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Interpersonal relationships of any capacity and dynamic have the potential to affect your mental health. A majority of our self-esteem and self-image stem from these interactions. Relationships can either be emotionally draining, where you subconsciously dread someone's presence but find it too uncomfortable to actually acknowledge, or they can be absolute green flags and instantly boost your mood. The ability to discern whom to keep at a distance and who to keep close to is fundamental to your mental well-being. Toxic behaviour from anyone that worsens your mental health is not worth it. Here are some green flags to look for in people around you.
Signs someone is good for your mental wellbeing
Listens to you
Green flag individuals never belittle your feelings or dismiss them as trivial. They provide a safe space and are always willing to lend an ear for you to vent. Rather than invalidating your emotions or overwhelming you with unsolicited ‘helpful advice,’ they respect your need for quiet, attentive support. If you wanted assistance, you would simply ask for it. Instead, they ensure you feel heard, valued, and comforted.
Never judges
Everyone has their own battles, so judgment from close confidants is one of the worst reactions you can receive. It makes you feel inferior, and you struggle to open up to another person, assuming the worst. Expressing yourself should not come with terms and conditions where you feel the need to filter yourself to avoid judgment. Those who judge and criticize you for who you are should be kept at a distance. In contrast, green-flag individuals will accept you unconditionally with empathy and create an environment where you can thrive emotionally.
Respects boundaries
Everyone has their own private space, and green-flag individuals will respect your ‘me time’ as well as the boundaries you set in conversations or other activities. They won’t guilt-trip you for your priorities and will allow you to be. These green-flag people will avoid bringing up topics that are sensitive or triggering for you and understand what you’re not comfortable with.
Not competitive
Green-flag individuals encourage you and serve as your biggest cheerleaders. They never view you as a rival or feel inferior due to your achievements. Instead, they are emotionally secure and help motivate you to improve, grow, and thrive. They celebrate your successes with genuine joy, without any trace of jealousy or resentment.
Handles conflicts with heart
Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. However, the blame game that often arises from these disagreements can inflict irreparable damage to mental well-being. A constructive approach to resolving issues focuses on solving the problem rather than dwelling on its origin.
The mind may devise calculative reasons to attack and blame, as blaming is one of the common techniques to rationalize anything the conscious mind finds uncomfortable or difficult to process. But by keeping ‘heart’ in the forefront, they prioritize empathy and kindness, which help to mitigate misunderstanding and create a mutual understanding. Disagreements are natural, but they don’t let the strain of the conflicts exert cracks in your relationship.
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