Actor Shabana Azmi got candid about her personal life in a recent interview. Talking to IE, the actor spoke about how women unable to have children are treated by society that puts their self-worth on their relationships instead of work.

Shabana Azmi on self-worth

Shabana stated in the interview that the criterion of success for a man is his career and work. But for women, it’s measured by how they perform as wives, mothers, or daughters. She also said that women who are made to feel ‘incomplete’ by society for not having children should realise that their self-worth comes from work.

She said, “It’s tough coming to terms with the fact that you can’t bear children. Society makes you feel incomplete. You have to work hard to pull yourself out of that. But your ultimate sense of self must come from your work. Women often measure self-worth from their relationships – how they hold up as a wife, mother daughter… For a man that’s not the criterion of success – rather it’s his career, his work that gives him the greatest satisfaction. I believe that should apply to all genders.”

On being unable to have children

This is not the first time Shabana has spoken about being unable to have children and focusing on her work instead. On Rendezvous with Simi Garewal in 2000 she admitted that while she would’ve moved in a ‘different direction’ if she had children, not having to make that choice ‘made it easier’ for her to do more.

She said, “If I had children I’m sure I would have moved in a different direction. Not being able to have children, in a sense, made the choices much easier because I could do so much more with my time. I think motherhood is very demanding. In the beginning, I didn’t believe I couldn’t be a mother. I was so sure that I was so special and so privileged and, of course, this was my god-given right. Yet, I’m amazed at how easily I accepted once I realised that I couldn’t have kids.”

Shabana has been married to Javed Akhtar since 1984. She will soon star in Dabba Cartel, Bun Tikki and Lahore 1947.

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