Mandira Bedi on coping up with the death of husband Raj Kaushal: ‘I will grieve him for the rest of my life’

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Actor Mandira Bedi is on a journey of dealing with the grief of losing her husband, producer Raj Kaushal , in 2021, saying the first year after his death was the toughest time for her.

In an interview with Humans of Bombay, Mandira said that the first year was the hardest, but things became better the year after that.

Coping up with the loss

Talking about the journey of overcoming the loss, she said, “The only way out is through. Of course, my children and I think of him every day. It’s not like we’ve forgotten him. The first year was very, very, very, very hard. The first of everything is just impossible to deal with. The first birthday, the first anniversary, the first Diwali, the first Christmas, the first New Year. The second one is a little bit easier, the third one is a little bit easier…”

Mandira admitted that she was still a work in progress, sharing, “There are moments when we remember him because of a song. I’ve done the therapy I’ve needed to, there are times I still do it. As human beings, we are always a work in progress… What I can do now is talk about it. It makes me emotional, but I can. There was a time I couldn’t. But I won’t break down… I started working two months after it happened… I have to support my family and myself. I need to do it for my children.”

In the interview, the actor also revealed that she has had Raj's car for the past six years, and she can’t bring herself to part ways with it. She said that she has been holding onto it for emotional reasons, and she will cry when she will sell it.

Mandira goes on to mention that she has dealt with the bulk of it, “but for the rest of my life, I’ll always grieve him”. However, there is one thing she still can’t do, and that is to listen to Kishore Kumar music.

Know more about Raj

Raj was a filmmaker who directed several films including Pyaar Mein Kabhi Kabhi and Shaadi Ke Laddoo. Following a heart attack, he died on June 30, 2021. Raj and Mandira tied the knot in 1999 and welcomed their first child - son Vir - in 2011. In 2020, they adopted their second child, four-year-old daughter Tara.

Starting her onscreen career as one of the first few women hosting and doing commentary for cricket tournaments, Mandira even hosted the ICC Cricket World Cups in 2003 and 2007. She has worked in many famous TV serials, including the 1994 show Shanti, Dushman, Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, and Jassi Jaissi Koi Nahin among many others. Most recently, she was seen in The Tashkent Files and Saaho.