Have you ever found yourself feeling so strongly for someone that it felt impossible to keep those feelings in check? Maybe you just met them, but their attention—or lack thereof—either made you feel down or was the best part of your day. Your desire to be around this seemingly innocent crush started to overshadow your grip on reality. This isn’t just a fleeting crush; it’s called limerence, and it’s becoming a hot topic these days.

On March 9, dating coach Sabrina Zohar, who also hosts The Sabrina Zohar Show, posted a video discussing this psychological phenomenon. She shared a clip of a woman in tears, upset about idealizing someone she had just met and feeling guilty about it. Sabrina went on to explain how this kind of intense, involuntary attachment can impact our lives, often rooted in low self-esteem and past childhood experiences.

What is limerence?

Sabrina shared a video with the caption, “What if the person you’re crazy about isn’t the right match for you? What if your constant thoughts about them stem from a chemical addiction to the thrill of the chase rather than true love?”

Check out the video here.

She went on to break down the concept of limerence. According to the dating coach, “Limerence can trick you into thinking that the emotional highs and lows signify something more profound. It makes you believe that the anxiety you feel is passion instead of a red flag. You might think that if you just show your worth, they’ll finally pick you. But genuine love doesn’t leave you second-guessing. It doesn’t keep you tangled in mixed signals, little hints, or the hope that this time things will change.”

She mentioned that limerence is basically an intense crush on someone that develops quickly, even though you don’t really know them well. “The tricky part is it feels a lot like love, so when things don’t pan out with that person— which often happens— it can feel like a total disaster. When you’re fixated on someone, you’re usually not truly connecting with them. In reality, it’s just your brain doing its thing.”

What goes on when you're experiencing limerence?

According to Sabrina, when you're caught up in limerence, your cortisol levels go up while your dopamine levels drop. When dopamine dips below your normal level, your brain will do whatever it takes to get that dopamine back, which can lead to an obsession with someone else since they provide that much-needed boost.

For those who might not know, dopamine is like a feel-good chemical that you get when you're looking forward to something, and it’s tied to your nervous system. “When you're feeling off balance and start daydreaming or putting someone on a pedestal, it usually means your amygdala is more active than your pre-frontal cortex, and your nervous system is out of whack,” she explained.

When you're feeling this way, you often sense a threat and start to see this person as your source of safety, which often stems from deep-seated beliefs, traumas, and wounds from childhood.

What’s the best way to handle these emotions?

Sabrina highlighted that the more you criticize, shame, and blame yourself for experiencing these normal human feelings, the more you hinder your healing process. She suggested asking yourself, “How old do I feel when I react so strongly to someone I don’t even know? Am I responding as an adult or as a child?” It's important to calm your nervous system, focus on the present, and remind yourself that these are just strangers online, not your caregivers, she wrapped up.

Read Also: Is Your Partner Emotionally Distant? Their Father Might Be the Reason

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