An orgasm is never an endgoal when it comes to sexual intimacy. But it is quite the bonus, right? What if you and your partner get to experience this moment together? A simultaneous orgasm is when you and your partner orgasm at the same time during sexual intercourse. While this may seem like an impossible task, as different people take different times to reach the stage of orgasm, it is possible to orgasm together. Besides taking your relationship to the next level, orgasming together has a lot of benefits. It also talks about the open relationship you share with your partner, where you put each other’s needs before your own. If you are looking for ways to have a simultaneous orgasm, be rest assured that it is as simple as going with the flow and enjoying each intimate moment. The foundation of a simultaneous orgasm is to understand what works for your partner and work on doing that.

What is a simultaneous orgasm?

A simultaneous orgasm is when two people encounter a sexual orgasm together. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine states simultaneous orgasm is a result of a variety of personal strengths in one or both partners as well as being satisfied with life. "Reaching the state of climax at the same time can be beneficial as it can help deepen the bond that you share with your partner," says sex expert Anu Goel. The process of understanding how to climax together can also help you get to know a lot more about your partner.

How likely is it to have a simultaneous orgasm?

Many people consider a simultaneous orgasm to be highly unlikely as people take different times to reach the point of orgasm. However, it is achievable. All of us go through a sexual-response cycle, which is a four-phase cycle - excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Reaching the last stage at the same time is a big challenge. According to a study published in Socioeffective Neuroscience & Psychology, different women reach the state of orgasm at other times, based on their tendency and capacity to experience orgasms. Women take 15 minutes longer to orgasm than the time taken by men. It should also be noted that it is tougher for women to achieve orgasm, as compared to men. Another study published in US’ Medline Plus, states that about 10-15 percent of women have never had an orgasm.

However, a simultaneous orgasm is possible if one is clear about what one’s partner needs to reach that stage. This would also require one partner to slow down to match their timing with that of their partners. This can be done only when you know your needs as well as your partners very well. Check out the various phases of arousal before you experience orgasm.

How to achieve a simultaneous orgasm?

Many things can help match your timing with your partner and reach the big O at the same time.

1. Communication

You and your partner can only reach the stage of orgasm at the same time if you have a clear understanding of wat turns your partner on. It is important to understand what works for you, and your partner, as this can help you slow down, or turn up the speed as well. There might be some erogenous zones that you might be missing out on, which you need to stop neglecting. Dirty talk can help as well. The point is to understand what works well for you, and for your partner, and communicating well with each other can help you do this.

Communication is the first step to achieving a simultaneous orgasm. Image courtesy: Freepik

2. Foreplay

Foreplay is very important when it comes to matching your timings. Women don’t always orgasm with penetrative sex, and foreplay plays a key role in helping them climax. The clitoris must be focussed upon as it often helps women reach climax quickly. A study, published in Sexual Medicine, claims that the centre of female sexual pleasure is at the clitoris. Since women typically take longer to climax, stimulation in the form of foreplay, before starting penetrative intercourse can help you match your timing. Check out other benefits of foreplay as well.

3. Understand the orgasm gap

Women and men orgasm differently and it is important to understand the difference in time if you want to climax at the same time. You can try and stimulate each other, but when you feel that you are getting too close to an orgasm, and your partner isn’t, you could try to slow down. Slowing down might be easier than trying to speed up your partner. Being in sync with each other can help you orgasm together. There are many approaches to slowing down an orgasm where men are concerned. One such method is the Start-Stop method, where the penis is stimulated to a point or orgasm, and then stimulation is stopped for about half a minute, states this study, published by Institute for Quality and Efficiency in Health Care (IQWiG), cited by the NIH.

4. Don’t focus on the result too much

A simultaneous climax might start to feel like an impossible task if you are only focused on it. It is better to go with the flow and enjoy this time with your partner, getting to know what works for them, and understanding how their body responds. You will eventually reach the stage of having a simultaneous orgasm. However, don’t make this an end goal for your time together.

5. Lubricants might help

Using a lube might help achieve an orgasm quickly. It can increase sexual stimulation in women. This might help you match timing with your partner. Check out this guide to use a lubricant.

6. Mutual masturbation

Masturbation with each other can also help you achieve a simultaneous climax. However, it is important to communicate the speed that works for you to your partner. A study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health, states that mutual masturbation is when people engage in stimulation, either on themselves or each other’s bodies. This can be an alternative to sexual intercourse while trying to achieve a simultaneous orgasm.

Benefits of a simultaneous orgasm

Achieving a simultaneous orgasm might seem like an unlikely task, but if achieved, it has a host of benefits. The most important benefit would be that this can help you come closer to your partner. A study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, states that reaching the state of orgasm at the same time can result in better sexual, partnership, and mental health satisfaction. Besides sexual pleasure, an orgasm has many other benefits as well. It can help in relieving pain, reducing stress, as well as helping you sleep better. Check out the benefits of an orgasm.

There is no set way of achieving an orgasm, and going with the flow is the best option. Image courtesy: Freepik

Can you have a simultaneous orgasm every time you have sex?

There is nothing that is fixed when it comes to having orgasms. It is one of the perks of having sex, but it cannot be an end goal. Therefore, while some couples can experience a simultaneous orgasm most of the time, others might not be able to do that. While a simultaneous orgasm has a lot of benefits in regards to deepening your bond with your partner, being involved in your partner’s orgasm can also be very beneficial. There is no set way of achieving an orgasm, and going with the flow is the best option.

Summary

A simultaneous orgasm is when two people, who are having sex with each other, reach the state of climax at the same time. This would require both parties to have a clear understanding of what the other one likes, and what works for them. It is also important to understand the time gap between your orgasm and that of your partner, so that you can try to minimise this timing. Slowing down your orgasm to match the timing of your partner is another way to reach this stage at the same time. Using a lubricant and focusing on foreplay can often help you. However, achieving a simultaneous orgasm should not be the goal and focus of your time together.

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