Try not to spiral, but use of the term “trigger” has been rising since 2019. Forget, for a moment, the “Trigger Warning” tags responsibly deployed when distressing material is shared online. Focus, instead, on everyday folks, in mundane conversations online, who jump at the chance to be offended.

They’re everywhere, calling out Indian vacationers as anti-national for choosing Maldives; complaining about women wearing too much makeup or too little; commenting with red-faced emojis on Aishwarya Rai Bachchan’s Cannes looks. They have problems with sheet masks (Aren’t they bad for the planet?), Alia Bhatt (Doesn’t she copy Deepika Padukone?), and iPad ads (Isn’t that ad, crushing musical instruments, culturally problematic?). It’s like we woke up one day, convinced that the world was a soup we ordered, that was too salty, and must be sent back to the kitchen.

What’s wrong with this picture? Plenty. Because...

The internet is not your personal kingdom. Online content – films, shows, music, even unboxing videos – is increasingly tailored for specific audiences, so users are now more likely to see something that’s suited for someone else entirely. Of course, eight billion humans are hardly going to be uniformly excited about nail art, the wrong way to cook steak, IPL drama, Season 3 of Bridgerton, and how wide-set Anya Taylor-Joy’s eyes are. And yet, comment sections are full of consumers grumbling about what they see. “People often go overboard because there are no immediate consequences,” says Pankaj Bisht, a Delhi-based online reputation management specialist. It’s pretty easy to tell which commenters (or even your friends) are interested in knowing more, or just scattering opinions for free. Why waste time?

Even trolling is part of the system now. Negative buzz generates views and sparks engagement. It’s why influencers deliberately add unpeeled onions in a recipe video or pretend to be TradWives, who cook and clean all day. It’s why Cannes and Met Gala looks are just that much over the top – it’s for us to click on, pick on and create new schtick on.

There’s so much reaction-eliciting content online, says Debanwitta Kahali, a behaviour analyst and mindfulness practitioner based in Hyderabad, that ordinary individuals can’t keep up and end up triggered. “Our perspectives of situations are constantly changing,” she says. When TikTok influencer Brielle Asero posted a video last year about how 9 to 5 jobs didn’t leave room for personal hobbies, angry folks called her lazy and ungrateful. Remember that just as positive comments aren’t actual validation, differing opinions aren’t a personal attack.

There’s always a bigger picture. Popular opinion, for much of the last century, was that there were two genders, that women were the weaker sex, that kids should not complain, that thin people were poor. It’s not so much that things have changed, but that things are changing still. “Read up deeply on subjects that matter to you and form your own personal opinions, instead of borrowing someone else’s,” says Dane Pereira, 28, head of talent management at marketing agency NoFiltr. And keep revising those opinions too.

If you’re triggered, touch some grass. No joke. Study after study shows that being in a natural environment can calm overactive senses. Being chronically online risks losing our touch with the real world. And before starting a comments war (or continuing one), consider if it’s worth the time, if Aishwarya’s Cannes wardrobe needs your input, and if the vegan online is even interested in hearing about fair-trade farming. “We need to build an online culture of agreeing to disagree,” says Pereira. Just pause, breathe, and scroll past.

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