This week, we’re...

Smelling something fishy.Sabrina Carpenter’s videos mostly feature men with questionable personalities, meeting a gruesome end. In Taste, Carpenter and Jenna Ortega are killing it, literally. The victim is Carpenter’s ex-boyfriend and Ortega’s new lover. In Please Please Please, she bails a BF out of jail. In Feather, obnoxious men get what’s coming to them. There’s a pattern here.

Asking mani questions. Hailey and Justin Bieber have a baby boy. Props to them for giving him a normcore name: Jack Blues. But there’s still some celeb-level weirdness. Justin Bieber told the press that he picked out Hailey’s delivery manicure, nude, minimalist nails. Apparently, he’s been choosing her nail looks for a while now. Couple goals?

Nerding out.Geek Girl, on Netflix, isn’t just your usual duckling-to-swan story. Poppy, our heroine, carries her geekiness into the fashion world, and owns it. The show is a bit of a stretch (teens making out on the runway? Seriously?). The clothes are pretty out of vogue. But it’s got a lot of heart, Miranda Priestly is no, erm, vintage now.

Out-snooting the snooties. It’s a scene straight out of Pretty Woman. A Chinese woman was so annoyed by the icy treatment she received at a Louis Vuitton boutique, she returned with a huge wad of cash (equivalent of ₹68.5 lakh), intending to buy a bag. She got the staff to count each note – a two-hour job – then left without buying. You’re “Neverfull” without a bit of revenge, no?

Living the jodi life. So, Sally can wait. She waited 16 years, but brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher have finally patched up and are Oasis again. The British rock band from the ’90s reunites for a 14-date tour of the UK and Ireland in July/August 2025. Stop Crying Your Heart Out, pop the Champagne Supernova, and book your tickets.

In starter zone. Next month is #SourdoughSeptember. It’s an initiative started by the UK’s The Real Bread Campaign, a charity organisation that promotes the making and eating of chemical-free sourdough bread. How do you contribute? By baking and buying natural sourdough, duh. They’re also lobbying for an Honest Crust Act. We’re not baking this up.

Hoarding veggies. Supermarkets in Iceland are out of cucumber and Canadian TikToker Logan Moffitt, aka The Cucumber Guy, is to blame. Moffitt, who has over 5.5 million followers, made a salad of grated cucumbers, sesame oil, garlic, rice vinegar and chilli oil. Everyone wanted to try it. Demand spiked. “You crashed the cuconomy,” one fan commented. Moffitt is just happy his favourite veggie is getting the recognition it deserves.

Going to craft class. Some smugglers do such a shoddy job, they bring disrespect to the noble art of the disguise. A gang was caught trying to sneak meth worth more than $5 million from Mexico to the US. They got caught because the fruit looked so fake, police were immediately suss. Green tape, odd shape, lumps. Isn’t @FiveMinuteCrafts on your feed?

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