
Struggling to Open Up? Experts Explain the Rise of Emotional Walls and How to Break Them
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Some individuals find it hard to open up and share their feelings or problems with others. They create emotional barriers, keeping their thoughts and emotions to themselves and avoiding discussions that could make them feel exposed. While this might shield them from uncomfortable feelings temporarily, it can harm their mental well-being over time.
In a chat with HT Lifestyle, Dr. Arti Anand, a Senior Consultant Psychologist at the Institute of Psychiatry and Behavioural Sciences at Sir Ganga Ram Hospital in New Delhi, explained why some people tend to isolate themselves and the potential consequences of this behavior.
She mentioned, "Many individuals construct emotional walls as a way to protect themselves from past negative experiences. While these walls can safeguard them from being hurt in relationships, they can also impede their personal and emotional development."
What makes it hard for people to share their feelings?

This kind of behavior isn't merely a habit; it usually stems from deep-seated experiences and fears. Dr. Anand pointed out the main reasons for it:
- Some individuals might be afraid of showing their vulnerability. Those who have faced rejection, betrayal, or trauma often find it hard to get close to others and express their emotions.
- People with an avoidant attachment style typically have a tough time opening up. This difficulty can stem from childhood experiences where their emotional needs weren't reliably addressed, resulting in a lack of trust.
- Additionally, individuals with low self-esteem may struggle to create deep emotional bonds because they feel undeserving of love and fear being judged negatively.
Behaviors exhibited by individuals with an avoidant attachment style
As previously noted, individuals with an avoidant attachment style tend to be more emotionally distant. This attachment style is characterized by a person's tendency to keep their emotions at bay. Here are some behaviors highlighted by Dr. Anand:
- People like this usually maintain a considerable emotional distance in their relationships, steering clear of closeness and vulnerability.
- They often struggle with the idea of long-term commitments or deep emotional connections.
- As a result, they might choose not to marry or engage in serious relationships.
1. They often take pride in their independence and see relying on others for emotional support as a flaw.
2. They find it hard to share their feelings, particularly the good ones, and may become unresponsive during disagreements.
3. Even when they really need help, they might hesitate to reach out for emotional support from those around them.
Understanding the distinction between healthy boundaries and emotional wallsHealthy boundaries in relationships play a crucial role in preserving your individuality and privacy. They might seem like emotional walls at first, particularly when it comes to keeping certain aspects of your life to yourself. However, it's essential to understand that they are fundamentally different. Dr. Anand shed light on these distinctions:
- Healthy boundaries are adaptable and encourage respect between individuals. Those who establish healthy boundaries tend to be self-assured and have enough trust in others to express their needs clearly.
- On the other hand, emotional walls are inflexible and protective, designed to keep people at a distance. Individuals with these walls struggle to form authentic connections and emotional ties. They lack trust, often feeling threatened, and instead of opening up, they isolate themselves from others.
The emotional impact of isolating yourself from others
Many people have developed a reflex to be defensive, and over time, this can take a toll on their health. Dr. Anand discussed the health effects of this behavior:
- Feeling lonely and isolated can really take a toll on mental health. When you're always on the lookout for emotional dangers, it can create a lot of stress and anxiety. Over time, this chronic stress can result in serious health problems like high blood pressure, heart issues, and digestive troubles.
- Not having strong connections or meaningful emotional interactions can hinder personal growth and emotional maturity.
- Building emotional walls can cause misunderstandings and conflicts, making relationships more challenging.
- Without emotional support and connection, it's easy to feel depressed and disconnected from others.
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