As dating increasingly shifts to a digital-first environment, where algorithms overshadow spontaneous encounters and a plethora of right-swiped options are readily available, a casual and non-committal approach often characterizes the initial stages of dating culture. In this context, even a small display of genuine emotion can captivate those yearning for affection. However, it is essential to remain vigilant, as many individuals overlook the detrimental effects of love bombing—an act characterized by excessive displays of affection through grand gestures, typically aimed at manipulating the recipient. This overwhelming behavior can obscure the discomfort it may cause.

Kelsey Wonderlin, a dating coach, recently utilized Instagram to illustrate the signs of love bombing during dates and to discuss the appropriate pacing that should be observed in dating scenarios.

Date 1

Regardless of how many hours or days you may have spent chatting online, the first date marks a pivotal moment in the relationship, serving as a launchpad for what may develop. From initial impressions to assessing compatibility, the first date is crucial in setting the tone for future interactions. It is important to discern between genuine affection and that which feels forced.

Kelsey shared:

Lovebombing:

• Tells where he's taking you instead of asking.
• Insists on picking up.
• Talks about himself a lot

Healthy pace:

• Mutually agree on the meeting place.
• Arrive separately
• Exchange compliments and talk about a range of topics like core values, interests and ambitions.

Date 2

The second date serves as an opportunity to explore deeper chemistry, yet it remains within the early stages of the relationship. This follow-up to the first date allows both individuals to gauge potential compatibility, although love bombers may prematurely perceive it as a serious commitment.

Kelsey provided insights on how to differentiate between healthy pacing and love bombing during this phase.

Lovebombing:

• Already ‘smitten’ with talks of finding ‘the one.’
• Wants to be in constant contact.

Healthy pacing:

• He says, “We're aligned on many core values and life goals, excited about where this could go.”
• Stay in touch but maintain your own lives.

Date 3

The third date typically occurs when both individuals recognize potential in their connection, indicating a shift towards a more serious engagement.

Kelsey elaborated on the distinctions between love bombing and healthy pacing as the relationship progresses to the third date.

Lovebombing:

• Invites over the weekend.

Feeling like you don't really know each other yet.

Healthy pacing:

• Plans for an all-day date hiking and picnic.

2 weeks after first date

Two weeks into a relationship marks an early yet significant milestone, representing an exhilarating turning point. At this juncture, individuals who are dating typically evaluate whether they want to continue deepening their connection. However, those who engage in love bombing have a contrasting approach, often overwhelming their partners with labels and rapidly solidifying the relationship, leaving them confused by the swift progression.

Kelsey provided a crucial insight regarding love bombing and the importance of maintaining a healthy pace in relationships:

Lovebombing:

• Asks to be his girlfriend, despite sharing little about himself.

Healthy pacing:

• Shares deeper qualities he appreciates about you.
• Become exclusive after 1-3 months.

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