Relationships are built on the foundations of mutual respect, trust, and emotional commitment. When an individual’s words or behaviors imply a lack of equal investment, it may be prudent to reevaluate the relationship. A March 8 article from the Daily Mail highlights that if a partner expresses the six-word sentiment "I don't want to hurt you," it could serve as a warning sign of an impending breakup. 

In the article, Louanne Ward, an Australian matchmaker and relationship coach, elaborated on how this phrase can be interpreted as a cautionary signal rather than a form of reassurance. She noted that by stating "I don't want to hurt you," the individual may be attempting to evade accountability for their actions or choices.

Warning sign: 'It's about sparing their guilt'

Louanne expressed, "When an individual states, 'I don't want to hurt you,' what they are truly conveying is their perception that your emotional investment exceeds theirs. This indicates a lack of full commitment on their part; they recognize that your feelings are stronger and are preparing to justify any future negative actions. Their intention is not to protect your emotions but rather to alleviate their own sense of guilt. If someone offers such a warning, it is crucial to heed their words and safeguard your heart. The reality is that if a person does not view you as a viable long-term partner and lacks significant feelings for you, they are aware of the potential to cause you pain. They can evade feelings of remorse because they have issued a prior warning."

What to do if he/she says 'I don't want to hurt you'

It is advisable to reassess the relationship and determine if your feelings are reciprocated. Engage the individual in a conversation to clarify their emotions and intentions. It is crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being, and if the relationship is not beneficial, it may be necessary to create distance or consider ending it. Louanne emphasized that if you hear the phrase, "I don't want to hurt you," it is essential to reevaluate the situation, as remaining in that context may lead to emotional pain.

When you feel prepared to re-enter the dating scene following a breakup, Louanne shared a simple technique to enhance your attractiveness. She noted that many individuals inadvertently diminish their own appeal and introduced her "pause and hold" strategy. This approach involves taking a three-second pause upon entering a room, meeting someone new, or initiating a conversation, rather than hastily diving into dialogue.

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