Have you ever experienced a date that initially feels flawless, only for a single awkward moment to spoil the entire experience? Perhaps their laughter strikes you as off-putting, or they utter a comment that prompts an eye roll. Before you realize it, your interest has vanished. This phenomenon is referred to as "catching the ick," which describes that sudden and inexplicable change in attraction triggered by a seemingly trivial detail. It might be something as insignificant as mispronouncing a word or chewing food in an unusually loud manner.

The science behind "the ick"

The abrupt transition from attraction to aversion, commonly referred to as "the ick," has gained significant traction on social media, with videos tagged #theick accumulating over a billion views on TikTok. This phenomenon raises the question: what causes minor idiosyncrasies to elicit such intense responses? A research study conducted by Azusa Pacific University, published in Personality and Individual Differences on February 5, 2025, investigates the impact of our characteristics on romantic dislikes.

Researchers characterize "the ick" as an abrupt feeling of repulsion towards a romantic partner, typically instigated by trivial idiosyncrasies rather than significant warning signs. Although some instances of "the ick" may indicate underlying incompatibilities, many are influenced by superficial societal expectations. The study revealed that women frequently felt repulsed by men exhibiting "feminine" characteristics, instances of public embarrassment, or bothersome speech patterns, while men expressed aversion towards women who were excessively trendy, socially awkward, or had irritating ways of speaking.

To investigate this phenomenon, 125 single adults participated in surveys regarding their experiences with "the ick" and completed personality evaluations that assessed traits such as disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism.

Who gets ick the most?

The study uncovered clear personality traits among those most prone to catching the ick:

• Highly disgust-sensitive people were the quickest to be repulsed by minor quirks, suggesting their aversion extends beyond physical things to behaviour as well.
• Narcissists weren't more likely to get the ick, but when they did, it hit hard. They ran a stricter filter on potential partners, rejecting anything that didn't meet their high standards.
• Perfectionists got the ick both more easily and more often. Their high expectations made them hyper-aware of even the smallest flaws.

Women were more familiar with the term (63% vs. 39% of men) and reported experiencing it more (75% vs. 57%). However, when men did get the ick, they experienced it just as often. Women were mostly triggered by misogynistic behaviour and annoying speech, while men were put off by physical appearance issues and signs of vanity.

When the feeling of distaste arises, it often leads to the end of a relationship, with 26% of individuals choosing to end things right away, while 42% do so at a later time. This sentiment is seldom kept private, as 92% of people confide in someone, typically friends or family, yet only 28% address the issue directly with their partner. The influence of social media has made this feeling more widespread, with viral content highlighting trivial annoyances, such as "Shazamming a song," encouraging similar reactions. For years, pop culture has contributed to this phenomenon, as seen in characters like Monica from Friends and Jerry from Seinfeld, who ended relationships over seemingly insignificant traits.

Should you reconsider your ick?

The research uncovers a dating paradox: while feelings of aversion can assist in identifying genuine incompatibilities, they can also lead individuals—particularly those who are perfectionists, narcissists, or easily disgusted—to abandon potentially great partners over trivial idiosyncrasies. Researchers observe that "even when a partner possesses admirable qualities, a single minor flaw can lead to rejection," which may clarify why the dating experience seems increasingly challenging despite the abundance of choices available.

If you frequently experience aversion, consider whether this is a legitimate red flag or merely a trivial annoyance. Perfection is unattainable, and what may seem like an embarrassing habit today could evolve into a cherished inside joke tomorrow.

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