Cheers! India seems to love going out to drink. We’re not hiding away in dim corners, nursing a shady snifter of something. We’re not uncorking a good wine only at a celebration. We’re into gin, now. We’re partial to craft beer. We’re trying out vodka infusions and clarified cocktails.

Yangdup Lama, who tends bar at Sidecar in Delhi, says that India’s young workforce is driving the change with “a lot more post-work drinkers and people going to bars on weekends”. Restaurants polished up their alcohol menus when they reopened after the pandemic. “People, including women, are drinking at bars alone,” says Lama.

Bartenders have front-row seats to the changing world. They’re doing much more than mixing and serving. The job now calls for listening, peacekeeping, being the confessional, knowing when to step in and when to get out of the way. “The bartender is supposed to be seen yet unseen at the same time,” says Feruzan Bilimoria, a mixologist in Mumbai. “I find that when they talk to us for longer, they order more, and become regulars.”

At Sidecar, Lama has talked a patron through his divorce. “He’d come to the bar to drown his sorrows and we became friends,” he says. “I honed my driving skills, because I’d drive him home and we’d be out on the roads until 6am until he sobered up.”

We asked bartenders to share their favourite tales about life on the job. They didn’t disappoint...

Feruzan Bilimoria, Mumbai

The lead mixologist for True Palate Café, Bilimoria heads the bar at One8 Commune and Neuma in Mumbai. She’s been mixing and serving drinks for nine years. Her superpower: Eyeballing a perfect 30ml pour of hard liquor, and reading patrons minutes after they enter the bar.

“The ones who just want to get drunk alone will give off a broody vibe,” she says. “Sometimes, they’ll just want to rant in a way that they can’t with a co-worker or spouse.”

With some, there’s no telling how the evening will go down. One young woman – Bilimoria calls her Drunk Gymnast – would drop in at about 7pm, sip a lot of water, have no more than two drinks, and chat with people at the bar. As the music got louder and the lights dimmer, she would do handstands. “We just knew she had a white-collar job!”

Bartenders, more than most, get dragged into dates and their dramas. “I was once serving a young couple who ended up having a heated argument – raised voices, hand gestures,” she recalls. “About 15 minutes in, when I gave them their drinks, the woman asked me if I thought they were a good match.” Bilimoria knew better than to take sides. “I told them that they had different opinions but argue the same way, which is cute,” she says. “They both smiled and continued arguing. By closing time, they were making out. But they guy came the next week with a different girl.”

Sometimes, tending bar is just like they show in the movies. Bilimoria says she’s watched a woman break up with a man because her parents had arranged her marriage. “His ego was bruised, and he told her that he’d been cheating on her for the past year,” she recalls. “The woman got upset and was about to throw her drink at him. But she drank it, and threw water on him instead. The guy left, and we were left trying to console her.”

It’s not all rum and regrets. Among Bilimoria’s favourite regulars is an older couple, each divorced, who met at a bar she tended, and fell in love. They got married last year and even picked Bali for their honeymoon on her recommendation. “They told me they bonded over the drinks I made for them.”

She did what?

“I once served a woman, who, after a downing a few drinks, let slip that she essentially married men just to live off them. She was at the bar because her current marriage had failed, and she was moving to another country to try again. I never saw her after that.”

Sahil Essani, Bengaluru

Essani, beverage manager at Muro, Bengaluru, has worked bars for five years and believes he’s pretty much seen it all. Customers who walk in and start discussing their sex lives? It’s more common than you think. Women who abandon dates halfway, leaving the man to foot the bill? He’s had those too. Regulars who walk in with women who aren’t their wives and expect the staff to behave like they don’t know them? “This happens often,” he admits.

So, he’s worked out ways to keep the vibe going, despite hiccups. Making a peace sign to the other staff, for instance, is a signal for trouble. “We’ve bailed out each other as well as customers out of flirting- gone-wrong type of situations.”

But mostly, he’s learnt not to judge. Essani remembers a woman who walked in and introduced herself before she ordered a drink. Then, 15 minutes later, she introduced herself again. Another 15 minutes later, she reminded him once more. She also told him and other customers that a friend was joining her and was late. “It happened at least eight times. The friend never came,” says Essani.

Drunken folks need special handling – but they make for the best stories. Essani once presented the bill to a group of men who’d been drinking steadily through the evening. They’re Indian. Naturally, they started fighting over who would pay the bill. “Hey, do you want to play rock, paper, scissors to decide who pays for this?” Essani jokingly suggested. “One guest started walking outside, apparently to bring a rock!”

Over the years, some customers have become regulars. And some regulars have become familiars. A few years ago, Essani served an elderly Australian couple who was visiting Bengaluru for the first time. They spoke to him about their family, including their great-grandchildren, and their lives back home. “They spent the evening getting to know me,” he says. “They left, giving me their address and everything, and they’ve come back since.” Other patrons he’s served when he worked in Goa, Mumbai and Delhi, text him when they are in Bengaluru. “They visit and check how I’m doing. It’s a very special feeling.”

He did what?

“One customer walked in, got drunk, and kept asking people to take his autograph. To those who were not keen, he kept saying, ‘You’ll need it for later’. It got so awkward, we had to intervene.”

Deepak Jiyal, Delhi

For the most part, patrons who sit at the bar at The Piano Man tend to talk to head mixologist Jiyal about the same things: Their travels, their professional victories, their horrible bosses.

But over 11 years, he’s found himself to be much more than the man who customises trendy cocktails. The bar is a popular date-night spot, and some regulars trust him so much, they seek his approval on whether a date is going well. So, when two regulars were getting to know each other, both turned to Jiyal for his opinion. He was all for it. But when it didn’t work out, he listened, without judgement, to both their versions of the story. “It was awkward. But I’m still in touch with both of them and they remain regulars.”

Being a bartender means looking out for women patrons too. Jiyal recalls the time a woman guest wanted to send a drink to a man she spotted at the club. “The man was married, and usually came to the club with his wife,” Jiyal says. He gently dissuaded her from sending that drink – helping her sidestep disaster.

At bars, as in life, not all women need help. Jiyal once watched as one man, there with a woman who seemed to be his girlfriend, started hitting on another woman near the bar. “The girlfriend slapped him and left.” In another instance, he noticed that a man, who dropped in often, had a habit of approaching women to chat them up. Jiyal didn’t intervene. “The women seemed unbothered. He was only successful once.”

Have women hit on the bartender? Just once, he admits. It was a regular customer’s wife. He had to stop talking to her. The couple moved cities after a while, so that was that.

They did what?

“A man and woman came in, clearly on a date. But halfway through, he left her at the bar to dance. So, some other guy spotted her and came over to chat her up. It didn’t take long. They left together, leaving the dude on the dance floor!”

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