It’s taken us a while, but Indians are finally talking about consent. A woman’s clothes are not an invitation for comment, groping or attention. User data isn’t a free-for-all just because we’re online or entered our details on a form somewhere. No one, not even a child, wants to be grabbed or hugged without warning.

The big battles are easy to fight. Things get murky in the little everyday interactions: when boundaries are breached by neighbours, family members, kids, the landlord, and anyone who’s up in everyone’s business. We’re only just learning how to draw boundaries here. This is where to set them.

The casual touching. Slapping your colleague on the back to cheer them on? Reaching out to touch a pregnant woman’s belly when she’s off-guard? Giving a friend a “new pinch” because they’re wearing something new? Stop. Stop. Stop. There’s room for warmth at the workplace, but not for unasked-for physical contact. Expectant mothers aren’t grabbing bags. “Make sure you ask each time,” says Delnna Rrajesh, a psychotherapist from Bengaluru. And interpret even an uncomfortable Yes as a No. No one of any gender appreciates random hands on their midsection. And pinching someone for spending their own money is just cringe.

The data dump. Gossip isn’t cool. But neither is circulating pictures of someone’s new baby, of your cousin’s latest crush, of the mock-up of a friend’s book cover, of an aunt’s medical details, or of clips of your colleague at a party. If they didn’t share it with the intention of resharing, it means they have not consented to anyone passing it on. Close friends or family may be comfortable with spontaneous posts if they are positive or celebratory. The same rules don’t apply to acquaintances or colleagues.

The object lessons. Of course, objets d’art are beautiful and interesting – that’s why they are displayed in the living room. They’re also personal property and often have sentimental value, not something for guests to pick up and examine at random. Rahul Chandhok, head psychiatrist and consultant, Mental Health and Behavioural Science at Artemis Hospitals suggests saying something like, “This piece is beautiful. Would it be all right if I pick it up to take a closer look?” The approach indicates “that you appreciate the item and respect the homeowner’s space and possessions,” he says.

The private chats. If it’s after a public conversation online, consider the nature of the interaction. “If it was light-hearted, friendly, and open, it’s likely that a direct message will be welcomed. The transition should not feel intrusive,” says Chandhok. When in doubt, seek consent by asking, “Would you be open to continuing this conversation in DM?”

Picking up the tab. Let uncles fight over the bill after a 20-person family dinner. In most small groups, the idea of someone picking up the tab may make the others feel uncomfortable or obligated. On a date, or when only part of the group is drinking, it’s a useful conversation to have before placing the order, says Chandhok. Oh, and don’t reach out and grab fries from someone’s plate – it’s just bad manners.

What kids want. No child wants to be put on display, have their cheeks pulled, picked up without warning and passed on to unfamiliar people. Kids can’t articulate that they’re uncomfortable, why shame them as crybabies when your actions made them cry? On first meeting, ask the parent if it’s OK to hold or carry a child. “The gender of the person hugging the baby, the baby, or the parent does not matter, but it can affect comfort levels due to cultural norms and personal preferences,” says Chandhok.

Read Also: no room for fun: why we need to bring back crazy celeb home tours