When we come with the burden of childhood trauma and fear of abandonment, in adult relationships we fear sharing our emotions. Often, we tend to have people-pleasing behavioural patterns that can make us not prioritise ourselves and our emotions. However, the foundation of a happy and secure relationship is built only when there is adequate space for exchange of emotions. In order to create that space, we need to learn to accept ourselves and our needs and share the way we feel with our partner.

“Expressing your wants, needs and emotions isn’t always easy but we can get more confident and comfortable with practice,” wrote Therapist Lucille Shackleton in a recent social media post and shared a few tips by which we can become more comfortable in sharing emotions in a relationship.

Start small:

Instead of going for the big and difficult emotions, we can choose to start small by talking of the emotions that we normally push aside. That will help us to get into the habit of sharing our feelings.

Be kind to ourselves:

We should not judge ourselves for the way we choose to express our emotions. Initially, it might be difficult for us to express our emotions in words – through the process, we should be kind to ourselves.

Acknowledge it:

Even if the emotions come out the wrong way when we express them to the partner. We should acknowledge it and try again to make them understand how we feel.

Practice self-soothing:

When we have had rough experiences in the past, expressing ourselves can make us feel emotionally drained. We should inculcate self-soothing techniques in our daily routine, such as mindfulness, yoga and meditation.

Let our partner know:

We should let the partner know that we are working on ourselves and our emotional health. This way, they will also be able to do their bit in making us feel more comfortable.

Focus on the wins:

Instead of criticising ourselves for wrongfully expressing our emotions, we should focus on the small wins and choose to celebrate.

Read Also: Therapist suggests 8 ingredients of a secure relationship. How many can you check off your list?

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