Licensed professional counselor Jeff Guenther, an Instagram user with millions of followers, frequently shares insights on relationships and therapeutic advice. In a recent video, he addressed the emotions many individuals experience following a difficult breakup, particularly the concern that their former partner may be in a new relationship and becoming a better partner.

In the segment titled, "You can’t bear the thought of your ex loving someone else and being a better partner for them!" Jeff discussed strategies for coping with the discomfort of seeing an ex thrive with someone new, especially when they did not treat you well during the relationship. He also provided guidance on managing emotions when these thoughts become overwhelming.

What to do when you can't bear the thought of your ex loving someone else

Addressing the struggle of accepting an ex's potential happiness with another person, Jeff emphasized that such feelings often stem from an unrealistic expectation of fairness in relationships. He pointed out that while relationships ideally should be equitable, they frequently are not. "Fairness is not a reality in relationships. They can be chaotic, emotional, and often imbalanced, particularly at their conclusion," he remarked.

He further noted that when individuals are preoccupied with the notion that their ex might transform into the partner they always desired, it is essential to recognize that the truth may remain elusive, and that is acceptable. "What truly matters is that they did not fulfill that role for you, and that is sufficient evidence to move on. Close that chapter decisively. Currently, they occupy space in your thoughts without contributing anything meaningful—someone who failed to meet your needs," he elaborated.

Additionally, he encouraged individuals to redirect their energy towards personal healing, growth, and seeking a partner who genuinely values them without the need for pleading. Therefore, if you find yourself excessively contemplating your ex and their future relationships, consider focusing on the following actions:

1. Whenever you find yourself fixating on your ex's new relationship, shift that focus inward and consider what actions you can take today to become the individual who attracts a partner worthy of your value.

2. If you have not done so already, consider blocking them on social media. You do not need to witness their awkward attempts at moving on.

3. Remember that you are not responsible for their healing or their opportunity for redemption. You are the protagonist in your own narrative. It is time to reclaim the energy you have expended on them and invest it in your own journey of renewal.

Finally, according to the relationship counselor, it is possible that your ex may find happiness with someone else. However, it is important to note that personal change does not occur overnight, so do not expect immediate transformations. Even if they do evolve, it does not diminish the fact that you are already on the path to discovering a partner who inherently fulfills your needs—someone who naturally embodies the qualities of a good person and a supportive partner without requiring extensive effort on your part.

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