The term "grey divorce" is making waves online, describing couples who decide to part ways later in life after many years together. With famous figures like A.R. Rahman, Aamir Khan, and Sania Mirza hitting the news for their splits, this trend is definitely getting people talking. So, what’s grey divorce all about, and why is it on the rise? Let’s dive in.

In a chat with a lifestyle magazine, Arouba Kabir, a mental health counselor and the founder of Enso Wellness, offered some thoughts on the increasing prevalence of grey divorce and its effects.

What’s grey divorce all about, and what causes it?

Grey divorce is all about couples over 50 who decide to split up after being together for many years. Sometimes, they might not go through a legal divorce but opt to live apart, either with their kids or on their own. A big reason behind grey divorce is that many marriages from previous generations were more about duty and commitment than about being emotionally in sync. As people change and grow, they often find that their relationship just doesn’t fit them anymore.

One thing that often comes up is the empty nest syndrome. A lot of couples stick together because they’re focused on raising their kids. But when those kids grow up and move out, they might realize they don’t have much in common anymore and lack a shared purpose, which can create a rift. Cheating is another issue that’s becoming more common, as some people look for emotional satisfaction outside their marriage. Whether it’s a physical affair or just an emotional connection, these things can really drive a wedge between partners.

Money problems also play a big role in breakups. Back in the day, women were usually financially dependent, but nowadays, many are aiming for careers and independence. This shift can lead to disagreements, especially when it comes to planning for retirement and ensuring financial stability.

The emotional hurdles of going through a grey divorce

Divorcing later in life can hit hard emotionally, leading to some serious questions about your identity, like "Who am I without my spouse?" After spending so many years together, losing shared goals can make it tough to figure out your next steps solo.

On top of that, the friendships and family ties you had with your partner might start to fade, leaving you to face life on your own. There's also the social stigma that comes with it; people often judge older adults for getting divorced, questioning the need for it. You might hear things like, "Why did it have to end?" or "This is just how it goes."

Then there's the loneliness and the anxiety about what lies ahead—thoughts like, "What if I end up all by myself?" or "Will I find someone to share my life with?" Those worries can really weigh you down.

What effect does it have on mental health?

It really comes down to the person. If they’re living a satisfying life, they could feel happy, liberated, and optimistic about what’s ahead. They might genuinely embrace this new chapter and be eager for what life has in store.

A lot of it really comes down to the life they've had so far. If they don’t have strong friendships, financial stability, or family backing, they could face challenges like depression, anxiety, low self-worth, grief, and a heavy feeling of loss. They might mourn the relationship and feel intense anxiety, which could eventually take a toll on their physical health.

What are some ways to handle stress?

Keep a Schedule: Just because you’re on your own now doesn’t mean your days should be all over the place. Stick to a schedule—get up at the same time each day, take care of yourself, work out, eat well, and stay busy. Taking care of yourself is super important.

Reconnect with Friends and Family: Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends and family you might have drifted away from. Strengthening those old connections or making new ones through social gatherings and networking can really help with feelings of loneliness. Even trying out dating apps can be a fun way to meet new people.

Manage Your Money: Being financially independent is key. Whether you’re getting alimony or have some savings, make sure to budget wisely instead of splurging. Think ahead and make smart financial choices for your future.

Get Professional Help: A life coach or therapist can be a great resource during this transition. They can help you sort through your thoughts and move forward with confidence and clarity.

Rebuilding your life after a divorce can feel overwhelming, but it’s definitely possible?

Reinventing your life after a divorce really hinges on who you were back then and who you’ve become now.

It’s super important to focus on yourself—establishing a routine and making self-care a priority is key. But remember, you used to have a common goal with your partner. Now, it’s time to reflect: What’s your new purpose?

• Are you thinking about starting a new hobby?
• Interested in picking up a new skill for work?
• Want to try your hand at building a house?
• How about getting involved in some volunteer work

Finding a new sense of purpose is super important. As you move into this next chapter, think about setting some personal goals, whether they’re major or minor. What do you want to focus on now? What do you hope to accomplish?

This is also a perfect opportunity to pick up new skills and enhance your abilities. If you’ve been away from work or personal growth for a while, now’s the time to really invest in yourself and make some progress.

Read Also: Strengthening Bonds: 6 Essential Communication Skills for a Secure Relationship

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