Parenting is an immensely rewarding endeavour; however, motivated by the instinct to safeguard and nurture their offspring, parents may often prioritize "fixing" issues over comprehending the underlying emotions. While this approach stems from good intentions, it can unintentionally lead children to suppress their feelings or perceive emotions as challenges to be conquered.

In a discussion with Lifestyle, Dr. Preeti Singh, Chief Medical Officer at Lissun and Senior Consultant in Clinical Psychology, provided five practical recommendations aimed at enhancing the emotional bond between parents and their children.

1. Prioritise understanding over fixing

When a child experiences distress, the instinct to intervene and resolve the issue is understandable. However, concentrating on solutions may unintentionally convey to the child that their emotions are something to be “fixed” or disregarded. Instead:

Take a Moment to Acknowledge: Reassure your child that their feelings are valid. Using phrases such as, “I notice you’re feeling upset; would you like to discuss it?” can be beneficial.

Cultivate Curiosity: Pose open-ended questions to gain insight into their viewpoint. Refrain from making assumptions.

Affirm Emotions: Express sentiments like, “It’s perfectly normal to feel sad,” or “That must be very frustrating.” This approach helps your child recognize that emotions are a natural and manageable part of life.

Avoid Hurrying: If they appear to be putting on a brave face, remind them that it is acceptable to not feel okay in your presence. Foster an atmosphere where showing vulnerability is regarded as a strength.

2. Model healthy boundaries and ground rules

Children acquire knowledge most effectively through observation; therefore, it is essential to model healthy boundaries. Establishing boundaries fosters self-respect and mutual respect.

Maintain Consistency: Articulate rules and expectations, such as those related to screen time or mealtimes. Adhere to these guidelines calmly, even in the face of opposition.

Instruct on “Yes” and “No”: Teach your child that expressing “no” does not reflect poorly on their character, while affirming “yes” should stem from genuine willingness rather than a sense of obligation.

Establish Personal Boundaries: Provide examples of your boundaries, such as stating, “I require some quiet time at the moment, but we can converse after dinner.”

Promote Autonomy: Offer your child age-appropriate chances to make decisions and honour their choices whenever feasible.

3. Foster a body-neutral and gender-neutral environment

In a society characterized by stereotypes, fostering an inclusive and accepting environment enables your child to develop into their true self.

Refrain from Commenting on Appearance: Steer clear of remarks, whether favourable or unfavourable, regarding weight, body shape, or physical attributes. Emphasize strengths, skills, and character traits instead.  

Confront Stereotypes: Support interests that transcend gender expectations, such as permitting boys to engage in cooking or girls to participate in sports.  

Utilize Inclusive Language: Choose terminology that does not perpetuate conventional gender roles, such as using "individual" instead of "boy/girl" when suitable.  

Promote Self-Expression: Allow your child the freedom to explore their identity without fear of judgment or pressure. Be a reliable source of support and encouragement.

4. Manage digital health

Technology serves as a significant asset; however, it can pose risks if not properly managed.

Establish Boundaries: Implement family guidelines regarding screen time, and device use during meals, and designate technology-free areas (such as bedrooms).

Promote Digital Awareness: Engage in conversations about online safety, the implications of cyberbullying, and the dangers associated with excessive screen time.

Supervise Content: Monitor the media your child engages with—such as games, videos, and social media—and maintain open discussions about it.

Emphasize Rest: Ensure that devices are powered down at least one hour prior to bedtime to encourage healthy sleep habits.

Set a Positive Example: Demonstrate balanced technology use and articulate the advantages of taking breaks from screens.

5. Be a present listener

Actively and non-judgmentally engaging in conversation enhances your relationship with your child and fosters trust.

Provide Undivided Attention: Set aside distractions such as mobile devices or work commitments when your child seeks to communicate.

Rephrase to Demonstrate Comprehension: Reflect on what they have expressed (e.g., “So, you felt excluded when your friends did not invite you?”).

Pose Non-leading Questions: Utilize open-ended inquiries like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you believe would be helpful?”

Avoid Judging or Problem-solving: Refrain from suggesting solutions unless they specifically request them. Often, they simply require someone to listen.

In conclusion, practising mindfulness and empathy in parenting has a profound and enduring effect on your child's self-esteem, emotional resilience, and sense of value.

Read Also: Mastering Kitchen Order: Essential Tools for a Streamlined Cooking Space

HOW DID YOU LIKE THIS ARTICLE? CHOOSE YOUR EMOTICON!