Love represents a delicate connection between two individuals, yet it is crucial to maintain your own identity rather than merging completely with your partner's persona. This merging can lead to a loss of self, where you may unconsciously adapt to your partner's preferences, mirroring their interests while neglecting your own uniqueness.

While some degree of flexibility in a relationship is beneficial, completely altering your identity to conform to your partner's expectations can lead to significant harm. Initially, you might feel proud of your accommodating nature and receive praise from your partner for your understanding demeanor. Consequently, you may overlook your own preferences and suppress your individuality. Over time, your sense of self may become so intertwined with your partner that you lose sight of your true identity.

On March 25, relationship therapist Kasturi shared insights on Instagram regarding signs that may indicate you are adopting a chameleon-like role in your relationship.

5 signs you are the chameleon in relationship

Kasturi shared:

• You find yourself agreeing with your partner's opinions, even when they don't fully align with yours.
• You adopt their hobbies and interests but struggle to name your own.
• You hold back expressing your real thoughts out of fear of conflict or rejection.
• You find yourself exhausted trying to be their ‘perfect partner.’
• You find yourself struggling with decisions when alone because you are used to deferring to others.

How to stop being a chameleon?

The therapist also shared some proactive steps that can help you leave behind your tendency to be the chameleon in the relationship:

• Reconnect with your own preferences: Start small- what’s your favorite movie, food, or music? Not what you’ve picked up from past partners, but what genuinely excites you?
• Practice disagreeing: It’s okay to have different opinions. Start by expressing small differences—“I actually don’t love that show” or “I’d rather eat somewhere else.” Notice how it feels to hold your own stance.
• Spend time alone: Learn to enjoy your own company. When you’re not constantly mirroring someone else, you’ll start to see your true self emerge.
• Ask yourself: “If I knew I was already lovable just as I am, how would I show up differently in my relationships?”
• Being adaptable isn’t a flaw, but when it comes at the cost of your own identity, it’s time to shift. The right relationship will never require you to shrink or shape-shift, it will celebrate you.

According to Kasturi's insights, a relationship may become stifling if you continually suppress your individuality. While you might perceive a strong compatibility with your partner, the underlying emotional fatigue cannot be ignored. Eventually, the relationship may start to resemble a performance rather than a genuine connection. Additionally, the prospect of a breakup can be particularly painful, as it results in the loss of a part of yourself that you developed in relation to your partner. With their absence, your sense of self may begin to disintegrate.

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