AR Rahman, the legendary musical maestro, is making headlines with the announcement of his divorce from wife, Saira Banu, after nearly three decades of marriage. The news stunned fans and the entertainment industry alike, as the couple cited emotional strain in the relationship as the reason for parting ways.

While such moments are deeply personal and challenging, they also bring to light the importance of navigating divorce with dignity and mutual respect. Separation doesn’t have to be synonymous with bitterness; with the right approach, it’s possible to end a relationship on a graceful note.

Michael Hakimi, a smental health professional with over 35 years of experience and a practitioner at Loyola University Health System, offers a unique perspective on divorce. Having navigated his own separation after 20 years of marriage while maintaining a good friendship with his ex-wife, Michael underscores the importance of a harmonious divorce.

Tips to end divorce on a good note

He shares nine insightful tips to help couples part ways amicably, proving that divorce doesn’t always have to lead to animosity.

1. Strive to communicate calmly, clearly, and rationally, and take responsibility for your own actions.

2. Avoid assigning blame, pointing fingers, or rehashing past issues in your relationship.

3. When discussing sensitive topics, choose neutral public places like a cafe or restaurant where both parties are likely to behave appropriately. Refrain from consuming alcohol during such discussions.

4. Resist using hurt feelings as a tool to attack your partner. Instead, work through those emotions constructively with the help of therapy.

5. Never speak negatively about each other or discuss marital issues in front of your children. Reassure them of your love and emphasize they are not responsible for the divorce. If necessary, seek therapy to help them cope.

6. Even if your spouse becomes emotional, maintain control over your own behaviour and reactions. Staying calm can help de-escalate the situation.

7. If something you say or do upsets your spouse, try apologizing and suggest revisiting the conversation later when emotions have settled.

8. Seek out a skilled marriage therapist to support you through the process. A licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) or a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) with solid qualifications can be particularly helpful.

9. If disagreements arise over matters like child support, property division, or taxes, consider hiring a divorce mediator to assist in reaching a fair agreement. Research their qualifications and reviews, and select one both of you are comfortable with.

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