8 signs you are an overprotective parent!
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Am I an overprotective parent? Over-caring parents think they are doing their children a favour by lending a protective shield. While being overprotective reflects your love, it can also have the opposite effect on your child. The good intentions of parents behind extremely sheltered upbringings can often result in serious crises and leave some indelible marks. Overprotective parents only allow brief moments of independence for their children. But by doing so, they may leave their kids ill-equipped to deal with the real world. The truth is that the real world is not always kind, and children must learn to be on their starting from their childhood. To face the world alone, your child needs to have a thick skin and all of that strength is transferred and taught to them by their parents. If your surroundings are making you rethink your upbringing, watch out for these signs of an overprotective parent!
8 signs you are an overprotective parent
Being overprotective as a parent can have far-reaching damage if not realized soon enough. If you are wondering about the signs of an overprotective parent, here are some signs to watch out for:
1. You always ensure the outcome
It is natural to worry or feel anxious for parents and their child when the child engages in various activities, competitions, and examinations. However, when you see yourself pushing your child to ensure the outcome of his/her efforts and find yourself discussing a lot more about things like scores, results, and medals, it is important to take a step back. Remind that the efforts are in their control but not the outcome, tells psychologist Dr Mimansa Singh Tanwar.
2. When you are worried about the ‘what ifs’
As a parent, it is normal to have some concerns and anxiousness about your child’s health, academic growth and other aspects of your life. When you notice that these concerns are taking the shape of ‘what if something goes wrong’ in your thought process, and if it makes you restless, and nervous and urges you to keep safeguarding your child, is a sign that your anxiety is coming in the way of their growth.
3. When you are nagging in your approach
Having a certain set of expectations from your child is normal but unrealistic expectations can be problematic. However, when you find yourself repeating a lot about the same instructions or expectations in a short span of time to your child, your nagging behaviour can lead to a shutdown. Give some time and allow some space to your child once you have set an expectation, suggests the expert.
4. When you do their work
Children will face challenges as a part of their growing up in various aspects. If seeing them experience the struggle makes you takeover and do their work, it could be an unhealthy sign that shows that you may be trying to protect them from the consequences. Instead, support, guide and help them navigate these challenges by problem-solving together.
5. When you are more driven by emotions
Having parental emotions is natural, but when you recognize that a lot of your communication and dealing with parenting situations is driven by your emotions of anxiety, guilt, anger, and sadness, it can become overbearing for your child to open up to you. Learn skills to regulate yourself, so that your approach can be calmer and more composed while handling situations in context with your child, avers the expert.
6. When you are intrusive
It is okay to know through your regular interactions with your child about their life, relationships, and other aspects. An involved parent is always a smart parent. However, being hypervigilant about every little detail of your child’s life will only create resentment in your child. Factors like calling up friends or teachers to check or control whereabouts are unhealthy parental traits that will make you lose your child’s trust. It can appear intrusive to your child. To maintain a healthy relationship, learn to build trust and practise open communication.
7. When you are making all choices
When parents are constantly making decisions for their children, they will grow up too scared to take risks while transitioning into a new career or life-altering decision. This will make them lack essential life skills like self-trust and self-confidence. For a child to develop a sense of agency, it is important to allow them to have a voice. Instead of making all major and minor decisions for them, give them the freedom of choice by allowing them to start small by choosing day-to-day things. For some major decision-making, involve them in a discussion to get to know about their thought process and opinions and help them shift perspective when needed.
8. When you guard them from harsh realities
If you shield your children from the harsh realities of life, they will not grow up to be emotionally capable of handling rejection or failure. A small word of discouragement from any superior or colleague can shatter their confidence and plunge them into depression. When you help them develop mental agility, they will be more likely to go through disappointments seamlessly. Being emotionally capable will make them meet life head-on without being buried by the weight of expectation.
While protecting your child is not bad, it is crucial to take into account your child's mental health and how to make them ready enough to face challenges head-on.
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