Listicle: 10 bad movie hairstyles that were a cut below the rest
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Dark Betty Cooper. Aka Betty Cooper’s S1 alter ego in the Archies-inspired show Riverdale (2017-2023). The black bob just doesn’t cut it for actor Lili Reinhart, nor the character she plays. The hairdo coincides with Betty’s sexual awakening. That bob is supposed to look grown up and sexy. Honestly, Betty’s goody-goody blonde ponytail is more flattering.
Jacob Black. Okay, he’s a werewolf. They don’t exactly carry Dyson Airwraps when they run with the pack. Taylor Lautner was supposed to be the wilder, darker alternative to the chiselled, shimmering vampire in Twilight (2008). But with that hair, he looked like a cute, hapless kid. He mercifully got a makeover in New Moon (2009), helping viewers (and Bella) take him a little more seriously. His abs helped.
Dwight Schrute. He lives on a beet farm. He wears mustard-ochre shirts. He is so odd, he’s his own genre. But Dwight from The Office (2005-2013) sticks out because his hair is a supercut (haha!) of every bad hairdresser decision. Too short, too wispy, an ill-advised devotion to a middle parting, and the wrong colour for his pasty complexion. Remember when he dresses up as Jim? Keep the wig on, sir.
Young Dexter Morgan. Instead of casting a teen actor, they put a wig on the 40-year-old Michael C Hall. It makes the otherwise not-bad-looking main character from Dexter (2006-2013) look like he failed an audition to join The Monkees. The show is a gripping drama about a Miami Police forensic technician and secret vigilante serial killer. The hair is distracting in every flashback.
Eleven. Even as a pre-teen, Millie Bobby Brown was gorgeous. The makers of Stranger Things (2016-) put her in a dowdy dress and jacket. We didn’t mind. They made her nose bleed. We accepted it as part of her character. But why must a lab-raised superhero walk around 1980s Indiana in a shoddy crew cut or a fussy blonde wig? We prefer her makeover in Season 3, courtesy her BFF, Max.
Manny Delgado. Sofia Vergara plays his mother. The makers of Modern Family (2009-2020) probably thought no one would look at the sweet Colombian boy growing up with a new dad. But we did. We loved his curls. Then, he grew up and was stuck with an unfortunate fade and Miami Uncle shirts. He’s the nicest of all the kids on the show. But that hair. Aii Maanee, no!
Jane Chapman. Granted, the young woman who’s moved to posh Monterey, California, with her son Ziggy, isn’t supposed to look as glam as her wealthy new older-mom friends Madeline and Celeste. But on Big Little Lies (2017-2019) it almost seems like Jane can’t afford a mirror and some shears. Thankfully, there are no bangs in Season 2. But Season 2 is rubbish. Ugh!
Cousin Itt. Everyone’s a little odd in the Addams Family universe. But poor Cousin Itt is perhaps dealt the oddest hand. He’s short, he speaks high-pitched gibberish that only his family understands. He’s never found a career that stuck. And he seems to be made entirely of floor-length hair. He’s a mop, basically. And it’s all straight hair. No curls even.
Hannah Baker. Hannah did this to herself. In 13 Reasons Why (2017-2020), she chopped off her own hair to deal with the trauma of being an American teen. But she has curls. At-home haircuts would never work. The haircut looks more broom than bob. It doesn’t make her scarier or intimidating (leave that to the tapes she leaves behind). Not a hairstyle to be caught dead in.
Severus Snape. All that magic in the Harry Potter universe and the Potions professor couldn’t brew up one clarifying shampoo for his greasy locks? Dumbledore had a little scrunchie for his long beard. Couldn’t Snape get side clips or something to keep his hair in check? James Potter describes Snape’s hair as slimy and snivelly. It reflects how he sneakily stabs a certain someone in the back in the end.
